I think I will write about something happy first kay?
My hubby went back to Singapore for his business thing during weekend.
I pun entah kenapa sabtu macam tak boleh bangun. I was telling myself, biarlah. Maybe elok juga badan ni rehat, kalau stress sangat tak elok for my brain and my health.
So nothing much on saturday. Not even laundry bolehhh?
Then Sunday datanglah kekuatan nak keluar rumah. I wasn't sure about watching movie. But I know we have to do some shopping for my daughter "list to do" for her camping this coming saturday.
She was sooooo excited for the camping event that I have to play along with her. Kasi dia support sket.
Off to Alamanda we went. Long time gal frens ajak jumpa kat SPA kat Bangi pun terpaksa I tolak... Mana aku nak campak baggage2 ni smua kalau tak. Tak syiok la borak and have a spa kalau ada budak merengek2 nak berak dan nak susu kannnnn... hahahaha!
Lepas dah habis checklist things to do/to buy, hmm ada cukup masa nak buat aktiviti lain seperti tengok wayang.
Actually I want to watch "lawak ke der" just to laugh out loud hilangkan stress.
tapi sebab bawak budak2 ribena, aku kena ketepikan keinginan adult aku tu.
Apa lagi nak tengok. Iron man kata 3 Mac, tapi tak dek pun! So terpaksalah pilih either Jack the beanstalk ker apa tah, dengan Oz.
I wasn't in the mood for some gergasi moments. I thought OZ will be a happy movie. (haha tak baca review sebelum pergi main terjah jer)
My dd whom is so into malay movie ajak tengok "cinta kita". erk.. please ibu wouldn't want to waste my money for some malay movie lah ok. astro movie ker vcd ker boleh di timbangkan but why do you need to watch it in big screen. no effects to be appreciated on. But that of course just me. Lawak ke der is an exception hehehehehe....
I pun ingat Oz ni akan buat I menyesal. but luckily, it was GOOD! not excellent macam lepas tengok the matrix. Tapi you and your kids will enjoy it.
DD remembered all their names except Oscar's full name. So in a way, I am having english tuition with them in there. DS was laughing at the jokes. I was impressed. So different from the time I ajak mereka tengok ice age movie.
I get the chance to tell them what is "twister" too = angin puting beliung.
So Alhamdulillah it was not a bad decision after all. Can't wait to have a 3D systems at home so we can do movie time at home instead of going to the cinema.
So what's up with March?
Can't wait for the decision from CEO on my performance. I really want to know how he evaluated me. That will give me some measures on how am I and if he thinks I have potential.
Can't wait also for the new team members in the office. That will also give me some hints on what to do next.
Can't wait for the bonuses as well lah.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Ya Rabbi.....
Memang kengkadang tu kena banyak beristighfar jelah duk kat office ni to remain the sanity. haha.
When you have to communicate up and down the line, it proves to be a challenge.
Reporting to the ceo, board and audit committee - it is difficult but at the same time, it is an honor to share their wisdom and insight walaupun haruslah kena whack kaw kaw. I needed that sometimes to collect my "wisdom" point and "experience" point so my knowledge will grow.
Communicating to the staff for us a bit difficult. Kalau by function it shd be down to the line, eventhough by position these people might be above you. When we first start out, ramailah sentap.
Macam, hey i ni paduka baginda, how dare you give me instruction...
ataupun, Eh helo, you ni cam merlin jer a servant, i ni first knight, how dare you refuse my order. i suh you close that findings, close je la (walaupun dia belum close) muahahahaha....
ada aku kesah kak? ekekekeke.....
setaun aku tak kesah per ko nak kata. Tapi akhirnya bulan ni baru aku sentap kemain kan. tak leh berenti aku nangis even aku challenge ceo. haha. lantak ko la bedah, aku tak leh retract apa aku buat depan ceo tu nak wat camner.
Tapi hari ni aku nak citer lain plak. Yang ni pasal how about the communications with the lower rank subordinates...
I have 2 direct reports which I think ok. kena push boleh jalan. tak push, jalan separuh.
tapi ada 1 ni, yang i share with the other due to back up duties, push ke apa ke, hambekkk blur giler. Malas aku nak tunggu smua aku buatlah utk dia. macam apa tau? boss aku frustrated with me, he go and do himself and then come back to me to ask me sign the report. cam tulah.
disebabkan it is not a direct report, maleh aku nak counsel ker or cakap. tapi character aku yang sound direct dalam joke2 aku tu pun dia tak paham, akak give up. ie. dear depa 2 orang ni aku suh buat kaw kaw, ko punya aku buatkan bagai, ko nak kata ko anak tiri memang nak kena belasah la ko ya.." dia gelak je .. ha kan...
akak tensen la jugak tapi sebab budak2 bawah cam gini masih senang nak di lentur dan boleh di reassign, akak rasa tak yah lah akak nak strict bagai hantar corrective action ke apa. gaji depa pun ciput. position depa ni pun easily replacable.
so cam tulah....
When you have to communicate up and down the line, it proves to be a challenge.
Reporting to the ceo, board and audit committee - it is difficult but at the same time, it is an honor to share their wisdom and insight walaupun haruslah kena whack kaw kaw. I needed that sometimes to collect my "wisdom" point and "experience" point so my knowledge will grow.
Communicating to the staff for us a bit difficult. Kalau by function it shd be down to the line, eventhough by position these people might be above you. When we first start out, ramailah sentap.
Macam, hey i ni paduka baginda, how dare you give me instruction...
ataupun, Eh helo, you ni cam merlin jer a servant, i ni first knight, how dare you refuse my order. i suh you close that findings, close je la (walaupun dia belum close) muahahahaha....
ada aku kesah kak? ekekekeke.....
setaun aku tak kesah per ko nak kata. Tapi akhirnya bulan ni baru aku sentap kemain kan. tak leh berenti aku nangis even aku challenge ceo. haha. lantak ko la bedah, aku tak leh retract apa aku buat depan ceo tu nak wat camner.
Tapi hari ni aku nak citer lain plak. Yang ni pasal how about the communications with the lower rank subordinates...
I have 2 direct reports which I think ok. kena push boleh jalan. tak push, jalan separuh.
tapi ada 1 ni, yang i share with the other due to back up duties, push ke apa ke, hambekkk blur giler. Malas aku nak tunggu smua aku buatlah utk dia. macam apa tau? boss aku frustrated with me, he go and do himself and then come back to me to ask me sign the report. cam tulah.
disebabkan it is not a direct report, maleh aku nak counsel ker or cakap. tapi character aku yang sound direct dalam joke2 aku tu pun dia tak paham, akak give up. ie. dear depa 2 orang ni aku suh buat kaw kaw, ko punya aku buatkan bagai, ko nak kata ko anak tiri memang nak kena belasah la ko ya.." dia gelak je .. ha kan...
akak tensen la jugak tapi sebab budak2 bawah cam gini masih senang nak di lentur dan boleh di reassign, akak rasa tak yah lah akak nak strict bagai hantar corrective action ke apa. gaji depa pun ciput. position depa ni pun easily replacable.
so cam tulah....
Ya Salam...
Cubaan.
Di ofis sekarang agak busy dan kelam kabut.
CEO's office is very challenging.
Sometimes you just have to acquire the wit and intelligence to handle them all.
Sometimes you just wept and drained out.
ie. a snr manager yesterday asked me to attend a meeting. when i asked him what is the objective of me attending it? what is it that he wants me to help him achieve? his answer was simply "we need you to whack some people so they can do things fast".
Ok so that is the impression and i hope we do not created "the need" to get some people to do the work. isn't bonus and increment enough to motivate people. sometimes i wonder about the working culture here.
To make the matter worst, we have some issue with our team member. Might have integrity issue with him. so i could not trust this manager to be handed a whole lot of tasks. This needs to be handled delicately and with a lot of wisdom. sometimes, believe it or not, need to do it with a strategy.
what a waste of time and talent.
Di ofis sekarang agak busy dan kelam kabut.
CEO's office is very challenging.
Sometimes you just have to acquire the wit and intelligence to handle them all.
Sometimes you just wept and drained out.
ie. a snr manager yesterday asked me to attend a meeting. when i asked him what is the objective of me attending it? what is it that he wants me to help him achieve? his answer was simply "we need you to whack some people so they can do things fast".
Ok so that is the impression and i hope we do not created "the need" to get some people to do the work. isn't bonus and increment enough to motivate people. sometimes i wonder about the working culture here.
To make the matter worst, we have some issue with our team member. Might have integrity issue with him. so i could not trust this manager to be handed a whole lot of tasks. This needs to be handled delicately and with a lot of wisdom. sometimes, believe it or not, need to do it with a strategy.
what a waste of time and talent.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Luahan rasa
This entry is nothing about projects.
I need to record this down.
I love my job. I am a career woman.
When I said I will put priority to my family, I kept my priority back to my work. So that reflects how I enjoy my work.
But lately, or since I moved to "the higher authority" office, life has changed tremendously.
This year alone I have about 14 days MC. and it is only march.
For the previous 3 days, I have fever with shivers and head spinning, but due to commitment at work, I still come to office.
The 1st day, I was just so scared of "pengsan" and noone discover me. I managed to survive till 8pm and drive back to Pajam safely. Alhamdulillah.
The 2nd day, I just have to come due to commitment with Bank Negara. True, even though "the higher authority" said "if you not around I will be your back up" how can I do that to a ceo? *roll eyes* di situ.
The 3rd day, I intend to take my medical leave. but one of the senior manager asked me to attend his meeting. sebab "i need you to whack some people there".......and that some people are the GMs.
So itulah nasib aku. I don't understand why a department head need to be whacked or to be guided in making the decision.
Dan aku tak paham kenapa aku kena jadik orang tengah kalau department heads tak setuju with each other. Aku akan paham kalau aku ni CEO.
So buat masa sekarang, aku rasa aku kena hadapi masalah ni macam CEO kerana objective aku di suruh buat kerja ni is to assist him kan. to be effective kenalah aku berfikiran macam a CEO.
Maybe aku selalu sakit dan agak depress sebab pressurenya terlalu besar.
Maybe sebab tu juga boss aku resign, one of the managers pun resign. HR head pun resign. semua ni ialah yang menyokong vision2 CEO. semua tak tahan nak hadapi issue2 ni semua.
So aku rasa, now aku tak ada head, aku yang kena galas semua ni, dan tak ada support systems aku lebih rasa down.
Down emotionally tapi work masih steady. tu yang mungkin buat aku sakit. I am pushing myself to over limit I guess.
I need to record this down.
I love my job. I am a career woman.
When I said I will put priority to my family, I kept my priority back to my work. So that reflects how I enjoy my work.
But lately, or since I moved to "the higher authority" office, life has changed tremendously.
This year alone I have about 14 days MC. and it is only march.
For the previous 3 days, I have fever with shivers and head spinning, but due to commitment at work, I still come to office.
The 1st day, I was just so scared of "pengsan" and noone discover me. I managed to survive till 8pm and drive back to Pajam safely. Alhamdulillah.
The 2nd day, I just have to come due to commitment with Bank Negara. True, even though "the higher authority" said "if you not around I will be your back up" how can I do that to a ceo? *roll eyes* di situ.
The 3rd day, I intend to take my medical leave. but one of the senior manager asked me to attend his meeting. sebab "i need you to whack some people there".......and that some people are the GMs.
So itulah nasib aku. I don't understand why a department head need to be whacked or to be guided in making the decision.
Dan aku tak paham kenapa aku kena jadik orang tengah kalau department heads tak setuju with each other. Aku akan paham kalau aku ni CEO.
So buat masa sekarang, aku rasa aku kena hadapi masalah ni macam CEO kerana objective aku di suruh buat kerja ni is to assist him kan. to be effective kenalah aku berfikiran macam a CEO.
Maybe aku selalu sakit dan agak depress sebab pressurenya terlalu besar.
Maybe sebab tu juga boss aku resign, one of the managers pun resign. HR head pun resign. semua ni ialah yang menyokong vision2 CEO. semua tak tahan nak hadapi issue2 ni semua.
So aku rasa, now aku tak ada head, aku yang kena galas semua ni, dan tak ada support systems aku lebih rasa down.
Down emotionally tapi work masih steady. tu yang mungkin buat aku sakit. I am pushing myself to over limit I guess.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Kids Project: I took it for granted...(and a bit of house update)
Sebelum tu.
House Project Update.
House Project Update.
Aku dapati, ramai yang datang sini disebabkan "house projects".. hehe... Aku fahamlah camner hal rumah ni adalah satu hal yang sangat mengujakan. You just want to be right the first time and to have to have more information before you proceed with the project, kan?
If you ask me, I did a couple of mistakes along the way also. Satu lampu putus (the highest ceiling) manampakkan kerja si David electrician yang pakai bantai asal siap.
Inilah sorang cina yang aku rasa kerja tak berapa semenggah. Tapi disebabkan dia telah di recommend oleh electrician developer, aku rasa aku dah buat yang terbaik untuk memilih contractor. Cuma maybe I am unlucky.
So my advise, dun go for cheap quotation, rather assess his past works. In my case, I have limited time so I trusted the recommendations by the electrician developer.
Jiran aku tengah giat renovate rumah. Tapi disebabkan urgency tak sama macam i, dah dekat 2 bulan jugaklah project dia. I nampak lampu dan kipas dah pasang. They are nice and frendly, cuma aku worry, anak2 aku bising dan mengganggu derang... hopefully mereka tak kisah.
Jiran lagi satu dan jiran belakang macam tak ada bibit2 atau tak pulak menonjolkan diri... Cuma rumah bungalow tu developer siap pasang air-condition da. wow. best ya.
My kitchen.
So far so good. Cuma malasnya nak bersihkan. Pacifica hood pulak buat pasal now. patah seribu. so rapuh.
I regret a bit on my decision to use granite top. The quality not so good maybe for mine. Asyik kena lap jer...
Or maybe memang normal gitu, aku jer wish for miracle.
Phase 2 update.
No aggressive plan for phase 2 project to continue. The good news is maybe we might be getting extra cash , dengarnya bonus will be in at the end of the month, so maybe I could continue a bit of the plan with that cash. Selebihnya kalau ada pun I need to put in project : Umrah DIY.
Backyard update.
I am still clueless how best to put up with the backyard. I want a nice backyard but i just need a time to plan it.
I need to do more research and design it properly.
Erm. panjangnya selingan.
What I want to update is actually on kids development.
Yesterday night we were having a quick revision on the subject for today's exam.
And I was shocked to know that DD has little malay vocab!
Ibu, what is curam?
and cerun?
pengetam tu apa plak?
kelat?
apa tu alah bisa tegal biasa?
apa tu jeruk? mak ai! jeruk pun tak tau???? oh lupa masa aku kat kampung, kan ker activiti orang kampung buat jeruk mempelam.
I answered "jeruk tu asam masin... atau buah yang kita peram lama dengan cuka n garam dan gula"
"asam masin tu apa?"
hehehehehee... just coz your child is from malay speaking environment doesn't mean they will automatically inherit your language.
I came to conclusion. Educating and nurturing is a never ending tasks. So embrace it dutifully.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Kids Project: How to teach your kid mandarin when you are NOT a mandarin literate...
We have hired 2 mandarin tutors previously.
The 1st one is quite good but our schedule was quite pack and with her, we can only do it at night time. So that makes it so susah as DS usually penat and demotivated to do the exercise, or even to learn.
The 2nd one is good also. But DS's result in chinese is worst than before he has the tutor. So I decided that maybe she is lack of something. She might not focus on the right way to tutoring the kid.
For eg, focus on topics, do more practice on soalan tubi and identify his weaknesses (in DS's case is the writing) and focus on strengthening it.
So I decided that we should not continue with her and I think I should do this as I know DS better. Not in terms of "teaching him how to contruct sentences in chinese" but on how to study effectively and how to answer those questions correctly and diligently. Nevertheless, I still think he needs a mandarin tutor to enhance his skill and knowledge.
But for now, I practice with him and even though we made mistakes along the way at least I can see that he picked up faster and he has "initiative" now on "trying". So I am successful in a waylah. Dulu, cuba pun tak mau. Tak ada confidence langsung. And he always thinks he will fail. Dahsyatkan? How I have neglected my kids' progress in education huhu....
Another way that I tried is to let him practice with the exercise book and for any questions that he doesn't know to check the answer and learnt from it. Some mothers took away the answers, but I teach them to read the answer, but ONLY on questions that they are not sure. As you know from my experience as a student, if we tried to answer wrongly, our mind could not remember the correct answers. So to me, I need to ONLY know the right answers.
But depending on circumstances, there are exercises that I need them to try first before they could look into the answers. Hmm.. am I contradicting? No. It is called, MOTHER'S INSTINCT :P.
So, let's wait till they get the results before we assume that my methods works. It works for DS on his last exam kat sekolah lama. But NOT tremendously. So let's see.
The 1st one is quite good but our schedule was quite pack and with her, we can only do it at night time. So that makes it so susah as DS usually penat and demotivated to do the exercise, or even to learn.
The 2nd one is good also. But DS's result in chinese is worst than before he has the tutor. So I decided that maybe she is lack of something. She might not focus on the right way to tutoring the kid.
For eg, focus on topics, do more practice on soalan tubi and identify his weaknesses (in DS's case is the writing) and focus on strengthening it.
So I decided that we should not continue with her and I think I should do this as I know DS better. Not in terms of "teaching him how to contruct sentences in chinese" but on how to study effectively and how to answer those questions correctly and diligently. Nevertheless, I still think he needs a mandarin tutor to enhance his skill and knowledge.
But for now, I practice with him and even though we made mistakes along the way at least I can see that he picked up faster and he has "initiative" now on "trying". So I am successful in a waylah. Dulu, cuba pun tak mau. Tak ada confidence langsung. And he always thinks he will fail. Dahsyatkan? How I have neglected my kids' progress in education huhu....
Another way that I tried is to let him practice with the exercise book and for any questions that he doesn't know to check the answer and learnt from it. Some mothers took away the answers, but I teach them to read the answer, but ONLY on questions that they are not sure. As you know from my experience as a student, if we tried to answer wrongly, our mind could not remember the correct answers. So to me, I need to ONLY know the right answers.
But depending on circumstances, there are exercises that I need them to try first before they could look into the answers. Hmm.. am I contradicting? No. It is called, MOTHER'S INSTINCT :P.
So, let's wait till they get the results before we assume that my methods works. It works for DS on his last exam kat sekolah lama. But NOT tremendously. So let's see.
Kids Project : Exam Week
It is not a project on its own. But it is within "my personal project" and my personal goal for the kids to be able to excel in their educations. My focus is for the kids and their education for this year.
I invested almost RM500 just for books alone. (remember that we put investment on BESTA dictionary for RM1.6k earlier).
So weekend in between servicing car, and other chores I instructed them to do some exercise.
Secretly I am proud of them as they are able to do it "independently" now just occasionally they need me to explain about a chapter ie. Science "what is food chain or they put it "rangkaian makanan"...
(God knows I was so blur also) rupanya it is about consumer and producer, primary consumer and secondary consumer.
ie. rumput ialah producer and primary consumer is deer. Since a lion eats deer, that makes lion the secondary consumer. Hehe....
DS has never got his confidence that he could acquire no. 1 position in class. But sejak pindah sekolah, his level of confidence just increased. He confidently said he could do this. Dulu, kalau tanya dia, dia akan tunjuk muka tak confidence dan muka down. So I am grateful that he is now "knows what he is doing"...
DS juga bercerita that he got "hadiah" from teacher the other day because he is the only one who got all correct in science. Wow! I was so impressed with this change. Alhamdulillah.
DD to me is not a problem dari dulu. She could do this only that she needs me to guide her and teach her the "easy way" to study. She also needs me to teach her "quick way" to understand a questions...
Otherwise, she can do it on her own.
So it has been about 2 months since we move and we have little complaint about "the move". So far everything is good. The kids tak ada problem except for DD yang occasionally kena buli dengan budak lelaki. We have complained to the teacher.
The teacher said if her exam goes well this week, maybe she will be transferred to a better class (now dia kena masuk kelas yang last sebab budak baru).. The teacher has also given good feedback on her performance so oklah. Apparently according to DD and DS (which joint her during sekolah agama) , budak2 lelaki tu suka dia... maybe budak kecik, bila suka budak pempuan dia kena kacau to get attention? hehe funny pun ada geram pun ada.
Siapa yang nak tau perkembangan Bau busuk - occasionally saja ada. Masa raya cina hari tu, our sis in law stayed with us and no bau at all. AT ALL TIMES. percaya tak?
Lately ada plak. So alhamdulillah our guests are comfortable during their stay.
I invested almost RM500 just for books alone. (remember that we put investment on BESTA dictionary for RM1.6k earlier).
So weekend in between servicing car, and other chores I instructed them to do some exercise.
Secretly I am proud of them as they are able to do it "independently" now just occasionally they need me to explain about a chapter ie. Science "what is food chain or they put it "rangkaian makanan"...
(God knows I was so blur also) rupanya it is about consumer and producer, primary consumer and secondary consumer.
ie. rumput ialah producer and primary consumer is deer. Since a lion eats deer, that makes lion the secondary consumer. Hehe....
DS has never got his confidence that he could acquire no. 1 position in class. But sejak pindah sekolah, his level of confidence just increased. He confidently said he could do this. Dulu, kalau tanya dia, dia akan tunjuk muka tak confidence dan muka down. So I am grateful that he is now "knows what he is doing"...
DS juga bercerita that he got "hadiah" from teacher the other day because he is the only one who got all correct in science. Wow! I was so impressed with this change. Alhamdulillah.
DD to me is not a problem dari dulu. She could do this only that she needs me to guide her and teach her the "easy way" to study. She also needs me to teach her "quick way" to understand a questions...
Otherwise, she can do it on her own.
So it has been about 2 months since we move and we have little complaint about "the move". So far everything is good. The kids tak ada problem except for DD yang occasionally kena buli dengan budak lelaki. We have complained to the teacher.
The teacher said if her exam goes well this week, maybe she will be transferred to a better class (now dia kena masuk kelas yang last sebab budak baru).. The teacher has also given good feedback on her performance so oklah. Apparently according to DD and DS (which joint her during sekolah agama) , budak2 lelaki tu suka dia... maybe budak kecik, bila suka budak pempuan dia kena kacau to get attention? hehe funny pun ada geram pun ada.
Siapa yang nak tau perkembangan Bau busuk - occasionally saja ada. Masa raya cina hari tu, our sis in law stayed with us and no bau at all. AT ALL TIMES. percaya tak?
Lately ada plak. So alhamdulillah our guests are comfortable during their stay.
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