Luahan rasa

This entry is nothing about projects.

I need to record this down.

I love my job. I am a career woman.

When I said I will put priority to my family, I kept my priority back to my work. So that reflects how I enjoy my work.


But lately, or since I moved to "the higher authority" office, life has changed tremendously.


This year alone I have about 14 days MC. and it is only march.


For the previous 3 days, I have fever with shivers and head spinning, but due to commitment at work, I still come to office.

The 1st day, I was just so scared of "pengsan" and noone discover me. I managed to survive till 8pm and drive back to Pajam safely. Alhamdulillah.


The 2nd day, I just have to come due to commitment with Bank Negara. True, even though "the higher authority" said "if you not around I will be your back up" how can I do that to a ceo? *roll eyes* di situ.


The 3rd day, I intend to take my medical leave. but one of the senior manager asked me to attend his meeting. sebab "i need you to whack some people there".......and that some people are the GMs.


So itulah nasib aku. I don't understand why a department head need to be whacked or to be guided in making the decision.

Dan aku tak paham kenapa aku kena jadik orang tengah kalau department heads tak setuju with each other. Aku akan paham kalau aku ni CEO.


So buat masa sekarang, aku rasa aku kena hadapi masalah ni macam CEO kerana objective aku di suruh buat kerja ni is to assist him kan. to be effective kenalah aku berfikiran macam a CEO.


Maybe aku selalu sakit dan agak depress sebab pressurenya terlalu besar.


Maybe sebab tu juga boss aku resign, one of the managers pun resign. HR head pun resign. semua ni ialah yang menyokong vision2 CEO. semua tak tahan nak hadapi issue2 ni semua.


So aku rasa, now aku tak ada head, aku yang kena galas semua ni, dan tak ada support systems aku lebih rasa down.


Down emotionally tapi work masih steady. tu yang mungkin buat aku sakit. I am pushing myself to over limit I guess.