The nurse asked me as part of their routine, "How many times have you been pregnant?"
14.
14?
Yes.
You have any surviving kids?
Yes. 4.
So that's make it 10 miscarriages?
Yes.
Any operations before?
Yes. 2 ectopic out of that 10 miscarriages.
2?
Yes.
Which fallopian tube?
Both left. but right one they operated on as well as there was water.
They took out your fallopian tube?
No. both still intact.
still intact?
(yes, thank you Allah for giving GREAT ideas to Dr Sheila Loh of KK hospital, Singapore)
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It was not easy dealing with miscarriage even after you have 2 pairs of daughter and son each.
I thought I was ok with it. But it still hurt. I felt the emptiness, lost and everytime I heard babies crying, it just hurt me to the core.
Should we try for another one?
silent.
Aren't we too old for a baby?
silent. (I think my husband took the safest way to deal with me at this hormonal stage hehe)
Look at your white hair bang. should we really have a baby now? (hehe)
still silent.
How many do you think we should have? 2 more?
He still smile, menyeringai.. He knows he will not have any good answers either way.
But seriously. I think I want 1 or 2 more. tapi look at our schedule now. Look at DD's result and DS's development. We havent got time to find taekwondo class.
So maybe it will not be a good idea. period. let's just stop this idea. Kay.
As they say, "Trust Allah, but tie your camel" (and tubes). Good luck.
ReplyDeletehehe. but it is actually fun and "happier" to have a big family. kan? you have 6? 4 bila besar, they will go and have their own life... leave us lonely and old.
Deletehanis.