Dealing with a loss

At about 230am yesterday.. when others were rejoicing on the results of PRU13, some may be not, I was awaken by an awful news. 

An uncle who is so dearest to me passed away. 

I would want to tell about how I felt here. But I realize, I am just too tired to vent. 

But enough said, I have regrets...................for not able to minta maaf, for not be able to hug him, for not be able to say thanks.

This uncle thought me mengaji, and taranum, sampai I johan sekolah, johan daerah etc.  many many times...

This uncle thought me berkompang, he always have the leadership quality in his way of teaching. But he is a silence leader. he did not talk much but, respected. Teringat masa I kecik, dia terus kasi I pemukul gendang tu untuk I yang pukul, while emak2 akan berkompang.... and I pun sangat semangat ikut instruction dia when to pukul. I have fond memories of my childhood days, part of it due to him.

For years and years, he made the habit to read quran, imagine, in all his spare time. Not just 10 mins, but all the time he free. He will cycle to masjid every waktu.. puasa sunat isnin khamis... I guess I did not even inspired by it when he is still around, but now I am just so inspired by him.

Dia punya routine mengikut sunnah. He eats roti with madu etc. Tak minum ais...etc.. He is never sick, seldom demam... Dan semasa dia di jemput ajal. it was like 5 mins before he is ok, and all of sudden he just fall, and he chose 1 particular grandson who is studying medicine (last semester dah) to stay with him. "duk dengan atuk jangan pergi mana2"... And the time is just so right between midnight and subuh, dia berniat puasa isnin etc... The second round of CPR (done by this grandson), he was awake just to mengucap. Even though the whole family was sad, but we agreed, Allah has chosen the right timing for him... Everything about him is easy. Uruskan jenazah dia juga cepat dan senang. Just like him. Tak ada kesusahan or orang yang susah semasa uruskan jenazah dia... MasyaAllah....

He was 86. Even masa baca talkin, imam tu yang juga kawan dia di masjid, sebak, tak dapat teruskan talkin tu.... 

I was always take him for granted... I did not sit down and make time to chat with him more... I need to change this.