House Project phase 2a

I received a sealed envelope today on my desk. I was thinking what was that and who is that from.


When I open the envelope, reading the book title saja I dah tahu sapa punya kerja ni. hahahahaha!


It was from "the higher authority" aka my boss. I know I can take it as his sarcasm but positively we might have developed a bond that he care enough to go to a bookshop and bought me this.  Right?


I was laughing out loud, tak boleh tahan. He signed and wrote "Good Read".


You may asked me, what made him do this? or rather "what trigger him to be this sarcastic (if you want to put it negatively)"


So...playback last friday I was sitting with him for my PMS. (which does not matter anymore during the time since  the payroll has been computed using the new increment and bonus - the chat is just to formalize it).


You can never imagine what he said to me. It took me 2 days to get over it.


For an eg:

"you are a platinum in my book"

"the only reason that prevent you to have high score is your aggressiveness that some of them are uncomfortable" - to that I asked him if I need to change my "style of communication" and he replied "no no no just be yourself, i like it" daa??? and when I said "and you want the character to do this job?" he said "yes" so??? I can never score?? baiklah aku transfer out kan? (pada akal aku yang cetek nila)

"I could not have my office to be platinum" for whatever reasons he mentioned.

"you are only x.x from platinum"

"your increment is way above average etc etc"

"you are the star performer in my office"


"if you really want to insist that I highlight your weaknesses is to manage your expectation" just whatever that means really. I was just not listening to him.


I was still upset regardless of good words he put. I cried when I upset so that was what I didlah while trying to disagree with him.


The next day I was actually on the phone with my ex-boss telling him all these "nonsense" which impacted my score, maybe will impact my promotion. We came to a conclusion - either he is politicizing me to achieve his mission or I have to agree to be penalize in order to achieve the overall mission goal. ABSURD sangat kan????


I for one, AM NOT ready for this kind of crap. (i think i still have an executive mentality haha!) I only want good performance scoring. hehe.


Happen to be, his decision to remove a manager from his dept has resulted in the upsetness of that person. that person is accusing me to be the reason.

I tengah upset kena victimised lepas tu dapat plak accusation yang sangat baseless, so apa lagi, i pun informlah the higher authority tu masa weekend. haha emotional siot.


Sampai mintak i yang di transfer out bukan sorang lagi ni sbb sejujurnya, I tak sanggup being penalised. I nak jugakkkkk good scoring for 2013 kalau dah susah sangat nak score high kat department ni. But he dismissed itlah, he said.."xx, xx, dun b overwhelmed by this, focus on our mission. manage your emotion and expectation :)" itulah yang dia kata....

Bayangkanlah sampai tak boleh tidur upset sangat. bangun pun pukul 4-5am gitu still crying non stop.


By sunday I dah ok.


By monday, I get the book hehehehe... maybe i got my humour back, or my senses back, I can't stop laughing at his gesture.


My colleague said "it is funny not because of anything but the matter that get you depressed... "

(yes, please do not be sorry for me, I want platinum bcoz i need to be in the platinum club for performance wise. How can I lead by example otherwise? And to have nothing mentioned about my flaws how can I improved it, that is so frustrating to me. I have list of flaws but my boss just said "nothing"... if he had said, english, or writing skill or communication skills, most probably I will not be as frustrated.  but bonus Alhamdulillah still ada cuma 9k less than last year. Increment is less rm500 from last year, even if I get platinum, it will be less anyway because our overall performance... huhu)


Ok back to house story. Amongst project that get approved for this phase 2a.

1. Whole house tinted -2k
2. The remaining of curtains/window dressings - 4.5k
3. Furnitures - 13k


I do not know exactly after tax deduction and epf how much cash from the bonus would I get so hopefully enough for the above and some other personal projects like the umrah diy kot? huhu....

Apa pun syukur Alhamdulillah...Bak kata ustaz tazkirah IKIM - rezeki dah ditentukan kita ni kena usaha. Tapi usaha tu jangan sampai tak menyempat nak buat ibadah.... malu kan nanti nak mengadap Allah SWT.