Excuse me for thinking out loud!

I know my strengths definitely....

But when you are at loss, sometimes people around you can talk positively about you and only you can't believe what they said about you ie. the other day a friend said that I am very good at IT and marketing through internet. really? I do not think so. I am quite a loser on that.

And another ex-vendor felt strongly I am very good at marketing - I asked myself, since when? To the point he has faith in me that he wanted me to join him or to market his product part time if I can't join him. I do not know what is wrong with me, I just either picky or on the mode of "nothing works for me" right now. kan? All I can think of right now is to seek for a permanent job with GREAT benefits and hopefully I will enjoy my job. I am not sure if that is the right attitude I should be having right now. That is what I want, I have those strong wish in my head.

I know I am definitely good and very good at something. But for a long months, I felt I am just a loser. I only good at talking maybe?

I can't get over this stage I guess.

I have been assessing what to do in case I need to quit all of sudden. I do not feel comfortable not doing something exciting.

1. Selling product - LAZZ kurma susu kambing because I strongly believe all sunnah product will be good for my children will be good for other's children.

or; cosmetic product because I think lately my complexion is much better after I use this products and it definitely an improvement from my ugly phase. I do not know what was I thinking haha.

So I was thinking selling products that I like may works for me?

2. As a runner - maybe I should just be a driver since I do not have much capital to start a business. Maybe my services should just range from picking up the elderly, do groceries, pickup school children etc. Geez I do not know.

3. Or maybe I should stick with my profession as project manager. But do it as part time or by contract. I can do for some small work like monitoring house renovation, paid by hour or so. My motivation other than anything else is so I get flex time to be at home with my children.

And I was thinking since my husband is doing some accounting services work, maybe I should build from that. It might not give us the salary that I have right now but at least it will give me more time to nurture my children.


There. I think I feel strongly for no2 and no3. I need more brainstorming and how to do about it in a structured way. So I can still pay my bills.

I kind of lost faith and interest with my current job. I do not believe it is going to bring me anywhere esp. in resolving all my debts.. on the other side, being employed full time I will enjoy the employer contribution in epf lah. also the insurance and medicals.

Entahlah.. I am still at loss but better from the last few months. At least I know where I am going. Only the execution part is nerve wrecking. Will it work? Can I still pay for my bills and debts?