Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My conversation with him

Other than those words I wrote previously which I have been analysing non-stop till today, this morning I was really thinking hard what is the real message he was trying to tell me.


"your crime is being close to me"


What is that suppose to mean? And the book. What is he trying to tell me without telling me.


"You know how upfront and blunt I am right, if I am not happy with you I have summoned you to my office and I will tell you straight to your face"


But when it comes to telling me my weaknesses that has affected my performance scoring, he just said nothing. Just be yourself. How can I without any weaknesses? That made me very confused and led to anger. Angry because I resorted into making an assumption  that he wants something from me but to settle the unrest, I have to understand certain decision.


I can move on without over analysing things. But I am just very concern I will be drown into this if I am not careful enough.


Trust noone. I am so much into supporting him and the vision, after all it is for the benefit of the kingdom but as much as I want to put my life into trusting him, I am not allowing myself do that.


I am suspicious with everyone right now. That is bad. very unislamic. Nevertheless I am trying very very hard to have self control.








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